Recovery?

I feel quite a bit better today. I think because I’ve rested, and had a few good nights of sleep after the seminar. It’s amazing what rest and sleep can do. Yesterday I was sure my bad feelings would last forever, and that I was doomed to a life of misery. Turns out I was just tired. But when you get into those depressive mind-sets it’s easy to get caught in it and think it will last forever. But I expect I will feel that way again, and once again believe that it will never end, because my brain chemicals just don’t learn, no matter how much information I gather intellectually.

I had a really weird dream last night. I was kissing a boy I used to go to school with, and then suddenly a party started around us, and I had to leave, because I wasn’t cool enough to stay. I got in my car and drove to my nan’s, but they all looked very miserable and didn’t want me to be there. All the while I was wearing a pair of shoes I owned when I was 14.

All of this, I expect, is of no interest to you. I am aware my blog is very boring. To be depressed is very boring to the onlooker, because all we do is sleep and comfort eat, and occasionally cry. We don’t smile and we don’t talk much. If we’re lucky, they give us pills that make us numb, so we can go about our daily routines like the husks of the people we once were.