QVC

I had a dream that I was walking around M&S’s Café Revive with a tray, and I was searching for food. I selected a Danish, a pretzel, and a coke. But as soon as I put them on my tray, one item would disappear, and I’d be searching the café for it. I’d find it, then something else on the tray would go missing.

I was awoken from this bizarre dream by my mother, thrusting a pair of earrings in my face. ‘Look! Smoky quartz. I bought them from QVC.’ I then had to endure her going on about what other precious stones these earrings were available in. For fucks sake. She’s obsessed with QVC, and it’s becoming serious now. She’s quoting their sales blurb to me now.

I can’t watch more than 10 seconds of QVC before I want to tear my eyes out. To be fair QVC sell some ok stuff, and yes it’s cheaper than it is in the actual shops, BUT, having to sit through the inane blah from the presenters is like torture, like slow and painful death. It’s turning my mum into a zombie.