Dog Poo

If you’re of an overly sensitive or easily disturbed disposition please don’t read this. But if, like me, you can tolerate the sicker things in life, read on.

My work colleague, lets call her Deborah, had dog poo smeared all over her windshield this morning. ALL over her windshield, so that it got everywhere and made the car smell. She came in late this morning fuming, understandably. She thinks it was a random act done by the local youths who hang about near her house, but I feel it’s more calculated, because obviously a lot of effort has gone into committing such a sick act. She says she has no obvious enemies. She’s really upset.

I’m not good socially. I never know what to say, especially when someone is bursting with rage because someone smeared dog poo all over their car. I have tried though, tried to be sympathetic, but what can you say really? I’m just about to take her to the shop over the road for some chocolate. Sometimes chocolate is the only solution. Aren’t I nice?

I do get overly emotionally involved when others are in crisis. I have this desire to make people better. If I can do that I feel better about myself. So my motives are not completely selfless. I think I would have liked a job in a hospital, only trouble is blood and needles make me feel faint, and literally cleaning up vomit and shit is repulsive. I don’t think I could do that.

Needless to say I haven’t eaten anything yet. Images of vast amounts of poo are haunting me.