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I’m sitting at my desk, wondering if my colleagues have noticed the fact that I have been doing my work in a trance, and that when spoken to I smile and nod like a regular person, but I’m actually not connected to the body that sits in the uncomfortable office swivel chairs, I’m actually locked inside my head, in a kind of dreamy unreal la la land. It could be Monday blues, or my meds wearing off, or it could be that I have finally, and truly, lost my shit.

I spent a fairly unremarkable weekend under rainy skies. On Saturday there was thunder and lightning. The cat hid under my bed. The rain came down so hard all the drains burst. I had an insatiable desire for chocolate, and chowed down on an unhealthy assortment of very bad things. I had planned on NOT watching the 28 Days Later film that was on TV on Sunday night, because it scares me, and I don’t like it. But what did I do? I watched the first half an hour, and now I have crazy, scary people with red eyes chasing me around in my thoughts, and I keep thinking about whether it would have been better to be a survivor, or just to have died really early on, because if you were one of the survivors you have to live with the fact that everyone you ever knew is dead, and you have to hide from the crazy scary people with red eyes. If you just died early on it’d be over and done with, and the crazy scary people with red eyes can’t get you. If you’ve never seen the film none of that will make any sense. Even if you have seen the film I suspect you’re probably quite lost.

Also on Sunday I wandered around Oxford with the boyfriend. We ate icecream at G&Ds. I went for the Dime Bar Crunch. In my humble opinion it is the best flavour they do at G&Ds.

I’m living life in the fast lane.