Progress

There has been progress, of sorts.

The prozac reduction has been an up and down sort of process, but I am slowly getting myself together, and things are coming back – my urge to create, my urge to read, getting up in the morning is just a bit easier. It’s also baffling, as I’m having to feel things again. Here and there, I will get angry, or sad, and I have to keep telling myself it’s perfectly normal to feel these things in small doses, and it’s not a sign of mental collapse. I still get scared when I have a proper emotion, because I assume it’s the depression coming back, when in fact, it’s just a regular human emotion. I’ve lost touch with my own feelings, having been used to about 5 years of sugar coated, padded feelings. It’s a very slow process. Things come back bit by bit. They creep in so that I hardly notice them.

I’m still fat though. Hurtling towards obesity. That is a whole other ball game. That is going to take effort.