My boyfriend is South African. He came to live over here in the UK but his parents still live there, in Grahamstown. They are in the UK this Christmas however, and I got to meet them yesterday. Being as socially retarded as I am, I expected the worst, but was actually pleasantly surprised, and my combination of smiling and nodding at appropriate moments seemed to work in my favour. I liked them. The dad, Terrance, is 81, but still a proud 6ft 3 giant, and Margo, the mum, was skinny as a rake, which explained why my boyfriend can eat like a horse and never gain a pound. They’re academics. They know authors and they’re very cultured. A lot of the conversations involved archaeology, literature, a whole list of authors I’d never heard of, and they often talked of Florence, and Vancouver, and all the many places in the world they have been. I couldn’t really contribute to these conversations. My own small pool of experiences don’t really compare to their massive ocean of cultural wealth. I’m not stupid, I’m just not a super educated success story. I don’t know anyone who’s written a book.
We all went out for a Chinese. Me, my boyfriend, his parents and his South African sister, with her South African husband. I suppose I should have felt out of place, considering they’re all far too successful, and I so clearly am not. But actually it was as though I was watching a TV programme or something, just observing these people with their pretty accents and their alien lifestyles. It would be nice to marry into a family like that, a family for whom mental illness is just a concept they probably discussed over a glass of wine. It would be nice to be part of their world, I’m pretty sure just being a part of that family would take me places, and offer up opportunities. The boyfriend and I had discussed going to South Africa at some point. That would be nice.
I’m feeling oddly pleased with myself. I’m not entirely sure why. I think I just feel that this family could teach me things. And it’s nice to feel like I have more options now, where once life seemed bleak. I know this feeling won’t last. But I’m quite enjoying it now.
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3 comments:
Hi I am South African, I have been reading your blog, if you want the ins and outs of SA, you can read my blog :)
I love that you think our accent is pretty! :-D
Academics are great at understanding mental illness....in the small moments that they are able to escape their own.
Sounds great! Opportunity and hope are two of the best tonics against depression that I know of. If you have any interest in Archeology or writing, they would be an excellent resource!
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