I'm Back

I have decided that Facebook is the root of all evil. I will not look at it’s hideous array of ghosts again.

The Gloom is present, but not too bad today. My faculties are diminishing though….my car requires you to put your foot on the clutch in order for it to start up. Only I put my foot on the accelerator and wondered why it wasn’t starting up. I thought my car was broken, but actually it’s just my head. My brain. I’m acting like a person who hasn’t slept for days, when in actual fact I sleep like a baby. I got at least 7 hours last night. My bed is right by my bedroom window, and when I sat up this morning the sky was blue, with a line of pink on the horizon, and there was an early morning mist.

Have to drag my sorry ass to town during my lunch hour. I shall dip myself into the sea of frantic Christmas shoppers, and try to buy as much as possible before getting the hell out. I need Christmas cards, wrapping paper, presents…..

The cold virus has pretty much gone now. I spent a few sick days at home reading Sylvia Plath’s journal, her letters to her mother, her novel ‘The Bell Jar’ and a Sylvia Plath biography. I felt terribly inadequate after that. Her life was short but eventful. I took a look at my life with despair. True, this last year has been very eventful, but I’m 25. That’s 24 wasted years. 24 years where I didn’t do an awful lot, except get bigger, and more bitter. I’ve spent far too much time being depressed and lethargic, lolling around like a hippo in a mud bath. Now I’m desperate to travel, I feel a sense of urgency to hurry up and experience things.