Once again I’m bored at work, with the nagging desire to take more codeine. I took 2 tablets this morning, and now I want more. It’s not that I NEED it, I would just really like to put a nice euphoric distance between myself and the tedium of work. I’ve run out of them you see. My options are thus – I go to the pharmacy over the road (very convenient) and buy some more, which risks more looks of disapproval, because I go in there quite a lot. Option number 2 is abstinence. I’m trying out option number 2 for now, and it’s home time soon, so I can distract myself with food and TV.

I’ve been very nihilistic recently. Not in the traditional way (by getting drunk and taking hard drugs) but in my own, sensible middle class way (taking codeine and eating lots and lots of junk food). In my own pathetic way I am going off the rails, and yet at the same time managing to hold down a job and outwardly appearing relatively normal. I’m full of contradictions.