News and Stuff

Art in Action is held every year at Waterperry Gardens in Oxford. I had planned to go on Friday, but the rain was so bad that I went on Saturday instead. Like many things in life, it was a bit disappointing. I’ve seen it all before. All the cars are parked in fields, and mine got stuck in the mud, and the army guys that were directing the traffic had to push my car because the wheels were spinning and I was going nowhere. Mud was flying everywhere. I was so embarrassed. I had to drive home with mud splatters decorating my car. Also a degree of embarrassment was experienced because my boyfriend and my best friend were both there, and they met for the first time. It was a little awkward, but I’m glad it happened. Maybe I’ll tell you about my best friend one day. She’s my only real friend, all the other people in my life, apart from my boyfriend, are filler, and they don’t really know me, or care about me. I go largely unnoticed.

The whole of England is in danger of flooding. So far my little corner of the country remains relatively flood free, but the newspapers have been hinting at worse weather to come. The floods have come as close as Berkshire. Too close for comfort really. There’s this terrible, dark, horrible side to me that wonders how much this is going to cost the country, and how it will effect me. It’s going to cost billions.

I am now 11st 4lbs, possibly even 11st 3lbs. It’s taking longer than I would like, but at least I’m losing. I’m basically starving myself. Fruit and veg as often as I can manage, no chocolate, smaller meals, no pudding. Lots of water, lots of smoothies, lots of fruit juice. My body is complaining. I feel hungry all the time, and feel quite lethargic, but I am eating. I am eating the right things. Why do I feel like I haven’t eaten for a week? When will my body get used to this? I keep getting headaches too.

I can’t tell if the depression has subsided to a satisfactory level. I have a GP appointment tomorrow to get more tablets, and review my situation. I’m sick of thinking about it, I’m sick of being constantly bombarded with small trifling symptoms.